Story #011

"I wish i can say that i was bullied, but i can't; because in this story, i am the bully...

Growing up as a teenager in a local gang group, I was dragged out of school to the police station numerous times for the things that i used to do. I extorted people that i regarded as friends not only to please my ego or to get a little richer, but to also stamp my authority. Flexing my authority in school made me feel proud about myself; not because i was doing something good, but because people respected me; people feared me and the things i would do to them. It made me feel powerful; like i was untouchable...

I didn't realise how far i had gone until one day my parents gave up on me. I remember it as clear as day when they threatened to write up about me in the newspapers to share with the world my evil ways and to officially disown me as their child. It was the most terrifying moment in my life. I thought to myself, how can someone who fears no one, be so afraid? I guess it was the fear of losing everything that was dear to me; everyone that i knew. I was a victim of my own stupidity and it is in that moment that i knew what it was like to feel like all those who were bullied by me; to feel powerless...

A few weeks later, my dad told me that he'd forgive me on one condition, that i changed my ways. Though i couldn't believe how my fortunes have turned, i was determined to do it...

Everyone still regarded me as a gangster in school, but determined to changed, i slowly walked away from my evil ways and started to make the changes i needed to be a better person. During my final year exams, i did not score very well which made it harder for me to further my studies or to prove to everyone that i can have a future, but God works in mysterious ways.

I found out that by going for an interview with a Hospital, i could learn to become a nurse in a nursing school; but my parents feared the worst. They were afraid that i would not complete my studies and that i would waste their hard earned money. They wanted me give up this newfound dream and to find a job, however i was still determined to do this. I told them that i would do my best to prove my worth to them; so i decided to move out from home to begin my journey with Adventist College...

It was tough for me during the first few semesters as i was still trying to break free from my old ways. I often got last for my exams in class due to my lack of knowledge in science, accounts or fine arts, but somehow, life has it's way of working things out for us and in this case, i was lucky to have a roommate that was willing to guide me and help me out...

One day, dad came to school and gave me a massive scolding. He told me to quit my studies and get a job because i wasn't improving in terms of results and that he no longer wanted to pay for my education. This was a wake up call to me because i've finally realised the damage that i've done to myself and to everyone around me in the past. I somehow manage to continue my studies and convince them that i really needed to do this...

Though it was difficult at first, but again lady luck was on my side. I worked tirelessly day in and out to get my grades up and finally, during the registration board examinations, i passed and got my nursing license.

My parents were extremely proud of me for my achievements and they were happy that i could change for the better. Up till today, i've been working as a nurse for 3 wonderful years; giving love and care to all those who need; proudly working as a front-liner in my country for Covid19...

My message to everyone is that no matter who you are, or where you came from, you have the power to change for the better. Let the past remain in the past because it doesn't define us. Be yourself, don't hurt others for your own pleasures as i have, and don't be afraid to dream. Just chase it; live it...."

 Instagram: @stacie.hming

Charity & Cause: Meowy Cat Shelter Penang

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